In Loving Memory of Vivi
“Vivi came into my life on August 10th 2002, a day that became a turning point in my life. I found her newborn in my garage, meowing quietly but desperately. She was helpless. And I was hopeless, in the throes of addiction and stuck in a dead-end job and an abusive dead-end marriage in a dead-end neighborhood.
I had absolutely no business taking on any new responsibilities, let alone responsibility for a life; I’d made a wreck of my own life and those of several others along the way. But I couldn’t bear the thought of what fate might befall her if I left her there in that garage, all alone. So I took her in, and went to my local pet supplies retailer and picked up an “I just found a newborn kitten” kit. Her name became Vivianne, or “Vivi.” I bottle-fed her, and after voraciously devouring the contents of the bottle she’d fall asleep in my hands.
And thus out of nowhere, I had a reason to stick around. And something to focus on besides my sorry self and my mostly self-inflicted torment. Vivi grew like a weed, and we became inseparable. When she no longer fit in my hands, she fell asleep in my arms like a baby...belly-up with her feet stretched out in every direction.
In what can only be described as a miracle, she saw in me someone who I couldn’t or wouldn’t see for myself. Someone capable, dependable, and trustworthy. Someone who could be counted on when things looked really bleak. Someone worthy of unrelenting unconditional love. This was a person whom I had never met until Vivi introduced me to him.
Vivi never bonded to anyone besides me, which is typical of bottle-fed orphans; they only bond to the people who feed them. To Vivi, the human race had only 2 members: Daddy, and “go f*ck yourself.” This was at once an incredible honor and a great responsibility, which I approached with the seriousness it deserved.
I can’t claim that I instantly transformed into the person she saw me as. But step-by-step, one day at a time, I sawed off the shackles of addiction, escaped the marriage and the job that had become my prisons, and replaced my soul-sucking job with a career that makes my soul sing.
We ended up one hell of a long way from where we started - all for the better, by any number of measures. Vivi was with me every step of the way. The notion that I could have completed that journey - that transformation - without Vivi’s love and care is analogous to Amelia Earhart circumnavigating the globe on a skateboard.
Miss you, baby girl. I’ll forever do my best to be the man you beheld in your loving gaze.”
